Okay so now that i started to drive i'm hooked on these driving jokes.
None of these are from experience so don't worry:) Enjoy
A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut, then we will talk about it." A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said, "Son, I'm real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your Bible diligently, but you didn't get hair cut!" The young man waited a moment and replied, "You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair." His father replied, "Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went!"
You know you need a new car when...
You pull over to let a fire truck go by, and it stops behind you.
You have to go to a repair center every thousand miles to get the duct tape replaced.
You accidentally drive into a junkyard, drive out, and get accused of stealing.
The Blue Book lists your car under "Health Risk."
The only thing holding your bumper on is the "Bush/Quayle '88" sticker.
You return to your car and find someone broke in and left a hundred dollars and a new stereo.
Evel Kneivel refuses a free lift.
The valet puts on a crash helmet and full-body armor before parking your car.
What would Jesus drive
Most people assume WWJD is for “What would Jesus do?” But the initials really standfor “What would Jesus drive?”
One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because “the Bible says God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury.”
But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges theLord to “pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm.”
Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain “until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast.”
Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John'sgospel where Christ tells the crowd, “For I did not speak of my own Accord.”
Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passagedeclaring, “the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills.”
Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler: “Joshua's Triumph washeard throughout the land.” And, following the Master's lead, the Apostles car-pooled in a Honda: “The Apostles were in one Accord.”
Well thanks for reading i will post again later:)
None of these are from experience so don't worry:) Enjoy
A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut, then we will talk about it." A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said, "Son, I'm real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your Bible diligently, but you didn't get hair cut!" The young man waited a moment and replied, "You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair." His father replied, "Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went!"
You know you need a new car when...
You pull over to let a fire truck go by, and it stops behind you.
You have to go to a repair center every thousand miles to get the duct tape replaced.
You accidentally drive into a junkyard, drive out, and get accused of stealing.
The Blue Book lists your car under "Health Risk."
The only thing holding your bumper on is the "Bush/Quayle '88" sticker.
You return to your car and find someone broke in and left a hundred dollars and a new stereo.
Evel Kneivel refuses a free lift.
The valet puts on a crash helmet and full-body armor before parking your car.
What would Jesus drive
Most people assume WWJD is for “What would Jesus do?” But the initials really standfor “What would Jesus drive?”
One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because “the Bible says God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury.”
But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges theLord to “pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm.”
Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain “until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast.”
Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John'sgospel where Christ tells the crowd, “For I did not speak of my own Accord.”
Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passagedeclaring, “the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills.”
Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler: “Joshua's Triumph washeard throughout the land.” And, following the Master's lead, the Apostles car-pooled in a Honda: “The Apostles were in one Accord.”
Well thanks for reading i will post again later:)
posted by Bobby at 7:55 PM
1 Comments:
I like the first joke :)
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